Just a bunch of random things on my mind...

1. I finally watched The Testaments for the first time today.... uhm. New favorite movie?? I think so! It was soooo good! I cried. I swear. The only two things that make me cry are the Spirit and thinking about all the Savior has done for me... and boys. But boys is a dumb reason. But yeah. The movie was fantastic. I loooved how they paralleled the two stories of the people in the Americas and the people in Israel and what BOTH their relationships to Christ were.

2. I had to take care of irrigation this morning. And Jamie's favorite toy is the big pink fuzzy rabbit named Larry. Well, he was in the middle of the yard when I turned the water on. And Jamie was having a bunch of fun in the water of course!! My baby's first irrigation.. so fun! But then she saw Larry was gonna get wet so she grabbed him really fast and put him on the porch.. then went out and continued to frolic in the water. It was stinking adorable.

3. I'm kinda bummed I didn't get to see any fireworks this year... but I was making money.. so I can't complain too much. And there's always next year!! And there are more important things to remember on Independence Day. Like all the sacrifice and courage it takes to make sure this country stays free. I really am grateful for that.

4. I have eaten a ridiculous amount of ice cream this weekend. On Monday I am starting a no sugar diet! Holla! Wish me luck!

5. Now that I'm not dating anyone... no one texts me anymore. Tragic. No love for me.

6. I love playing the piano and singing. It's the best. I want to be better at the piano.. but I am so DANG undisciplined. I will try to be better about practicing. I think I might try an anti social phase for a while. Have some ME time. That sounds quite good.

7. I am in a book club... and instead of discussing the books.. we are going to act out scenes from them or watch a movie or SOMETHING. I'm kind of excited... but I really need to start reading the first book... I'm a slacker.

8. I have even more ice cream... and I'm going to eat it. Tonight. Before my diet starts.

9. Staying alone in my house freaks me out to no end. I woke up freaking out last night because I had a dream a creeper came in my house while I was sleeping and raped me. Uhm. No freaking bueno. But I got over it. Don't worry. :)

10. I like life. And loving. And making mistakes and learning how to do better next time. I like growing. It's very hard sometimes... but it's worth it.

Words of wisdom for the day? Make goals. Constructive, attainable, bettering goals. They make life more exciting! The end. :)

I need....

.. an "I like.." post. :)

I like meeting new people. I like going on dates. I like eating ice cream. I like playing games. I like winning games. I like painting my nails. I like a good cup of herbal tea. I like tuna fish sandwiches. I just like sandwiches, actually. I like water. I LOVE milk.. especially of the chocolate variety. I like making good choices. I like being warm. I like swimming and smelling like chlorine. I like doing yoga and how I feel after I do yoga. I like flip flops. I like no shoes at all even better. I like blogging. I like music and finding the perfect song for your mood. I like sleep.

So I'm going to bed! But my words of wisdom for the day!! I just remembered something AWESOME that my EFY counsellor Emily told me! She said whenever she was feeling angry... she would allow herself to listen to ONE angry song.. and then switch to church music to help herself get over it! SO I think I'll try that! Especially getting over this whole Hairy Ben thing... and just feeling down about some stuff and being angry with myself for not being as good as I can be! I'll listen to ONE song that matches my bad mood, be it angry or sad or scared or inadequate... and then I'll listen to church music! Because church music brings the spirit.. and the spirit brings hope for better things. And hope is a VERY powerful thing. :) The end. :)

It's late...

.. and I should go to bed because I have work at 8:30 tomorrow... but I want to blog. I don't really know about what.. we'll see what comes to me.

Hairy Ben and I are still friends. I decided to give it a try. But it's still really hard sometimes. Other times it's as easy as anything though. I just wish I could get over it already. It's super annoying.

I've decided that my car, James, is a hypochondriac. He is ALWAYS getting sick and making me take him to the doctor and spend lots of money. It's a bit ridiculous... and the only punishment I can inflict is letting him run low on gas... which he HATES.. but that makes it scary for me too.. because the gas light is broken.. HA! It's terrible.

I really really need to clean my room. I just really really don't want to. I should be a neater person... someday I have to get married... and if my husband turns out to be cleaner than me.. that'll be a problem.

I don't really wanna get married anytime soon.. even though when I look at engagement and wedding pictures my heart aches a little for it...

I just want to be in love. For the first time. I've never been in love.. and I just want to know what it FEELS like. I love emotions... and I haven't experienced the BEST one yet. I'll get there someday.. someone has to fall in love with ME first though... which could be a problem. I'm kind of insane.

I am having a movie night to watch While You Were Sleeping and eat Ben and Jerry's with the lovely Maddi tomorrow night and I am excited beyond reason. I love that girl and I love that movie and I SO need a girls night it's not even funny.

I guess that's it.

My words of wisdom for the day is this: Get some sleep. Sleep is healthy. And you feel better if you do it. The end.

Someday....

*Sigh...*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEofC4N66eo

NEW GOAL

Never ever ever ever push the snooze button ever ever again. WHY? Because for the past THREE days I have been trying to get up earlier because.. you know.. it's healthy or something... and I'd like to DO some things with my day. You know. BUT it has all been thwarted by the SNOOZE button... or me resetting my alarm to later than I set it the night before after I let Jamie out to pee in the morning. Seriously. I set my alarm for 8:40 last night...this morning it went off.. I hit the snooze.... but didn't really hit it. I just made the buzzing stop on my phone but didn't actually hit SNOOZE. So I woke up at 10:30. What am I DOING with my life? Dang it all! SO I will follow the advice of two very important wise people: My stake president from BYU Idaho, Henry J Eyring. He told us to NEVER hit the snooze button. Choose when you want to wake up and WAKE UP and your day will ALWAYS go better. I will believe him now. The first thing I said when I woke up this morning was, "EFFFFF" ... not the best way to start, right? And then I will follow the advice of Fraulein Maria when she sings the Confidence song in the beginning of the Sound of Music (Which I've had stuck in my head ALL morning.. well since I've been awake at least.. which isn't very long. BUT STILL), "When you wake up, WAKE UP! It's healthy!" Alright, alright. I've learned my lesson.

But ANYWAY. Heavens. I'm actually kind of excited. I always have fun ideas for blogs... but I never get around to them because I always have some long story to tell about a boy. But now that I don't have a boy... I can write about whatever I want!

Okay... the post I was just going to write about is too awkward. I can't do it. hahaha So I'll just ramble. Last night I was talking to a bunch of guys about dating stuff... man. Some of the stories were AWFUL. And by awful I mean AWKWARD and HILARIOUS. I learned that even if a guy is TOTALLY not into you... and the thought of kissing you is AWFUL... BUT you are HOT and try to MAKE OUT with him... he will totally be down. One of them was on a date with a girl and they fell asleep watching a movie and he woke up to her sucking on his fingers. WHAT? Who DOES that?? I mean really. REALLY?? So what does he do? He makes out with her. He didn't LIKE it... but to get her to stop... he made out with her. Boys. I swear. Then another guy said that had happened to him... but he LIKED it. Filthy. Boys. I swear. This story makes me really really glad I'm a girl. I mean, I like making out and all... kissing is great. Cuddling all that jazz. It's GREAT. But.... if you don't even LIKE someone... why would you do that? It would be so icky. Don't get me wrong.. I've had my share of NCMO's... but at least I LIKED those people. I dunno. I think it's harder for me to understand boys because.... I didn't grow up with any boys around. I have 3 brothers.. but I never really lived with them. Oh well. One day I'll get married and THAT will be a shocker for me. I'll have to LIVE with a BOY. Weird. Okay I guess I'm about done...

Except for my words of wisdom for the day. Whenever you need a pick me up, make a list of things that you like or love. It ALWAYS makes you waaayyyy happier. I promise. Like this:

I like sleeping in.. even if I feel LAZY as heck haha. I like waking up super early and smelling the early morning. I like how amazing I feel right after I work out. I like being sore because it means I'm getting stronger! I like seeing Jesse Noble at church and places because I've had a crush on him since 7th grade and he STILL gives me flutters hahaha and I KNOW nothing will ever come of it.. but I just like flutters. :) I like singing in church. I like sitting down randomly at the piano and singing for 2 hours. I like feeling happy. I like FEELING. I like observing people. I like reading. I like making something really yummy to eat. I like moving and meeting new people and getting to start over and reinvent myself once again. I like reading my scriptures and praying and knowing Heavenly Father is listening and helping me. I like the really fatty sugar cookies that have the yummy frosting and sprinkles and you look at them and say, "Those look like fake cookies" and you eat them and you say they MUST be fake cookies because nothing REAL could taste this GOOD. I like getting texts.. seriously it's kind of a problem.. I call texts "love"... if I have no texts.. I have no love. It's depressing I know.. but I LIKE it. I like blogging and people telling me that they like my blogging. :)

And I'm really hungry so that's it. The end. :)

You Know You're a TRUE Blogger When....

... the first thing you do after the guy you're dating breaks up with you (after calling your best friend and crying a little) is thinking of what you can put in your blog about the experience. I realize I kinda left you all hanging with the "Love you" post... after that everything was fine. Hairy Ben and I talked about it.. and it was super awkward... but we got over it. We still saw each other every day. We were just having fun! He was even over last night and everything seemed great. We did baptisms this morning and then afterward he did a session. Then later we were texting... and he said he needed to talk to me. Dun dun dun. It sounded ominous. So I went over and we talked... and he said while he was in the session he had this feeling that we should stop dating... and he'd had the feeling before.. and didn't listen to it.. and it ended up badly. So he decided to listen this time. And how can you argue with that? He's still a fantastic guy... I just can't like him anymore. The whole time it looked like he was about to cry.. so naturally I COULDN'T cry.. because that would have just pushed him over the edge.. and I can't handle crying men. I just can't. So I put on a not sad face and left. That's all I could do. I barely made it in the car before the tears came out. Haha. It's not really funny. It's just... I really liked him. I liked his smell and his big nose and his hairiness and his roommates and his nephews and the fact that he is the only other person in the world besides my mom that's ever been able to give me a foot massage without me being totally grossed out. I liked beating him at foosball (even though I'm pretty sure he actually let me win) and watching Lost and holding hands. I liked talking about random stories and playing card games and how he'd push all my hair away from my face before he kissed me. It was fun. I liked being with him. But now it's over. He's still Hairy Ben and I'm still Annie. And we'll move on. But I'll be sad for a while. I can't really be friends with someone after I've dated them.. or even liked them too much. It's just too hard, especially when you still want to be with them. So I probably won't talk about Hairy Ben anymore after this post. As I was driving home I actually started laughing because just this morning I was telling my mom that it was exactly 3 weeks ago today that Hairy Ben and I first met on the river. He lasted exactly 3 weeks. Still not good enough to earn his REAL name in the blog.. but much much better than just about every other boy.

SO now that that's done... I'll watch my feel good movie, While You Were Sleeping. It always gives me hope.. because she's such a weirdo.. that I'll find someone to stick around one of these days. :) Yup. That's right. I'll watch a chick flick and eat some ice cream... if only it would start raining. Then it would be the perfect post break up scene.

But anyway, it's been a while since I've done my words of wisdom for the day. And I'll use Hairy Ben for this. Because he was the perfect example. Follow your gut. I'm good at this because my gut always SCREAMS at me when something's wrong. Hairy Ben kept having this weird feeling ... kind of like my freaking out.. but I think a little more mild. But he kept ignoring it.. until finally in the temple he couldn't NOT listen anymore. That's it. Follow your gut. And by gut.. I mean the spirit. It might not be what you WANT... but in the end it's what you need. I know that Heavenly Father knows best... and He loves me. So I'll be fine. The end.

For my Father...

So I decided to do what everyone expects on Father's Day.. and do as I'm sure just about every other blog on blogger.com is doing and dedicate this post to my Dad. :)

First off, I'd like to say that my dad JUST graduated from Pharmacy school. He is now a Doctor of Pharmacy. Seriously, how cool is that? He has always been such a hard worker! And that is such an amazing example to such a slacker like myself. I'm very lucky to have such a dedicated Dad. :) He taught me my love for learning and I got my good brain to learn with from him. I've never had any trouble with learning new things and I give him full credit! He always pushed me to do better. I KNEW that Dad and Mom expected A's from me. Because they knew that's what I could achieve. Dad was always willing to read one of my English papers or give me input on a project I was working on.. or help me with math. Without his encouragement and faith in my abilities... I wouldn't be the good student that I am today.

When I was little I remember Dad playing the piano. I remember waking up on Sunday mornings to hymns. I always loved this. Sometimes I was a little mad because I was being woken up... haha but I loved it all the same. Then as I grew older I remember him sitting down at the piano and asking me to come sing with him. I learned how to love music from him. And now that is such a HUGE part of my life. He was always my number one supporter where anything musical was concerned and I am so grateful for some of the opportunities he made possible for me. And I love that he is my number one accompanist when I sing in church. Performing with him is always awesome! Without him and his piano and his singing... I wouldn't be the musician that I am today.

When I was about 13 I realized I looked like my dad. I had these annoying little bumps on my arms. I had a long body and short stubby legs just like him. I had big feet and big hands. I had a smaller, girlier version of his big nose.. but his nose all the same. BUT I also had his amazing soft, luscious, silky hair. Dad, thank you so much for my hair. It is so incredibly vain, I know. But I love it. And this wonder would not be possible without your awesome genes. :) he also contributed to me being all chubby. That's right, I had an incredibly fat, awkward stage as those of you who saw this post know already. But I know that those years of being chubby and awkward and self conscious have made me a better person. I can't be too vain because I know what it's like to be the only 11 year old to be 5'4", wear size 9 shoe, and weigh 145 lbs. THANKFULLY I grew out of it and learned some awesome lessons as I did. Without my dad and his great genetics... I wouldn't be the confident young woman I am today.

Around 15 I dyed my hair red and dropped 15 lbs and gained a little confidence. Boys now thought I was attractive. And with this new development came a slew of new experiences that were scary and exciting and crazy! I had some good ones and some bad ones. I freaked out a lot and dated A LOT of boys. And through it all Dad was always on my side. Whenever I freaked out about a boy... he was always VERY willing to do anything he could to help scare him away so I didn't have to deal with it. When I liked a boy he tried his very hardest not to embarrass me and help me with whatever questions I had. Because of Dad's support and trying his very best to not kill all the boys I brought around... I am the dating machine I am today. ;)

Growing up me and Dad didn't always get along. We disagreed on a lot of things. And I always wanted to be more independent without any of the responsibilities that came along with it. We'd fight, and I'd be mad. But we'd always work it out. He's my dad. And I've learned so so much from him. Through some of our fights I learned so much about myself and about people and how to handle my life. I learned that forgiveness is a beautiful healing balm for all wounds. I learned that nothing is more important than keeping the ties strong in an eternal family. I learned that seeing your father reading his scriptures makes you want to read your scriptures too even though you're mad at him. I learned that after you read your scriptures and pray about it.. you can't be mad anymore! The gospel is such a wonderful part of my life and my dad taught me so much about living it.. in ways that he doesn't even realize. Without my dad's example... I wouldn't really have a testimony of the gospel and I would not be the happy person that I am today.

In conclusion I'd just like to say that I am very grateful for everything my dad's done for me. We moved a ton growing up but that helped me develop my personality. Things have been hard but I feel like everything has helped me become better. I love my Dad very very much and I'm lucky to have him. He's always been there to give me advice or just give me a hug when I needed it.

Happy Father's Day, Dad!