oh yeah!

and while I was up at the cabin I had this dream. Awesome. But FIRST I must tell you the story of the person IN the dream because it's funny.

SO. At my Walgreens.... I have 2 coworkers that are seriously like big brothers to me. As in they call me their little sister and we laugh and joke and gossip and it's jolly good times. One is a manager... so we can all fart around and not get in trouble! Woohoo! Well anyway, there's a night shift worker, Rickifer. And he is mighty attractive. And funny and smart and such. I sooorrt of... have a crush on hisself. If you know what I mean. But then I was all, "He drinks coffee, icky!" But then I was all, "But he's cute and is all GOOD in other ways." But then I was all, "What the heck, he's like 25 and works at Walgreens?? LAMMEEE!" But THEN I was all, "Maybe he's just a little lost... I like him. I'll be friends!" And so then I was nice to him and we had some jolly good conversational exchanges and were witty together. Which was fun. AND THEN I realized I was transferring to another store because of the whole moving to Gilbert thing... and I said to myself... I will never see this boy again. I MUST DO SOMETHING DRASTIC. So I did. I went up to my "big brother" who is not a manager and I said to him, "Do you want to know a secret??" ".....sure whatever." (I try to be sneaky and gossipy when there's nothing to gossip about but he will not cooperate, lil booger.) "I sorta have a crush on Rick!" "... yeah I know." "YOU DO?? WHAAA?" "I'm a guy. But I'm not BLIND." "Curses!" "Come into the office and we'll talk about it." So we go into the office and I try and get info from him.. but he knows nothing! Worthless! But then the night manager walks in and hears us talking and he gets all excited like Rickifer and I are gonna start dating. "He NEEDS a girl in his life," he says. Hmm what does THAT mean? "It means he needs a girl. He's a bum. He still lives with his parents and plays video games all day. He used to be Mormon.. but doesn't really go to church anymore. I mean, he still BELIEVES everything, he just got bored hearing the same things every week. He needs a girl to whip him into shape." So I say to myself, "That could be fun!" So I give my number to the night manager to give to Rickifer because I am a big fat chickenface and can't do it myself. And I think he did..... but Rickifer has not called me yet... and I have to see him on Monday night.. HA! It could be really awkward or suuper funny. We'll see. Hopefully I can pull off funny. But I DO feel like a sorta loser woman that this bum of a man will not even call me. PSHH WHATEV MAN. I'm basically over it. HA!

But that's the story. And now with the dream.

So I was dreaming that I was with Rickifer and another guy. And us three were just hanging out, having fun.. walking around the streets and stuff. Whatev. And then we decided to go to my house. And when we got there my mom had made food and the boys loved it! They said, "Nom nom nommmm good!" And then my mom brought out twinkies with this special chocolatey sauce stuff... and the boys REALLY liked it and said, "NOM NOM NOMMMM" to this stuff. And then I got a call from a friend who's actually on a mission asking me to come hang out with him and I was all, "Whaaa? Weird, no. SORRY, I have friends over." And then I went back out and I just looked at Rickifer because he was cute and wished he liked me... even though he's really short and skinny and a bumface. And that's all I remember.

But I was just thinking about that dream and my last post was short and boring so I thought I'd share!! Woohoo! Happy night! :)

Vacaaaa

Uhm. Hi, I love vacation. I really really do. It was a MUCH needed break from life. My family rented a BEAUTIFUL cabin in the Show Low region. Seriously. It was gorgeous. EVERYTHING was gorgeous: the cabin, the weather, the fam fam, the cute little antique shops. I didn't take any pictures... because I didn't have a camera...

BUT I DO NOW!! Dad took me shopping for one when we got home today and I love it I love it I love it!!

It is purple and pretty and we are going to get along splendidly, I can tell. :) I haven't thought of a name for this little beauty yet... but it will come to me. Probably the first time I use it. It's still charging... but pictures will be coming very very soon I promise! :)

Okay. The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis are seriously awesome. Awesome possum. They make me so happy to read them... because I'm all, "In your FACE, Satan. You're so sneaky but I'm soooo smart! BAM! No you will NOT bring me down!"

So no more emo Annie. :) At least for now. haha, I mean we all have ups and downs, right? WELL I'm definitely in an up! The vacation did a world of good. It was fantastic to spend time with my awesome family and not have to worry about ANYTHING for 4 whole days. No work, no school, no boys. And now that I'm back I actually miss those things! So overall life is jolly good.

Seriously. I'm just smiling for no good reason at all.

Words of wisdom for the day? Take vacations! If you're freaking out and stressing out and running out of gas for life.... take a vacation. It'll be worth the cost and time off work, I PROMISE. MM I just feel so good.

I'll post again soon with PICTURES! The end. :)

BLOOOGGGING...

...is awesome. I have nothing to blog about. I keep opening my blogs like this and it's getting quite depressing. BUT I will have something to blog about soon! Woohooo! My life will be exciting, I'm determined.

So on Wednesday my WHOLE family (minus Amber and Khris in Georgia and KC, Lynn, and Rhone in Tucson) will be staying in a GORGEOUS cabin up in Northern AZ. I am beyond excited for this. I will not have to worry about ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING for FOUR WHOLE DAYS. Holy hannah. There really are no words. This is also a warning because I will not be blogging up there. So all my lovelies will have to wait a whole 4 days for me to blog again. Terribly sorry.

And then it's my birthday!!! I'm really excited to be able to say 19 instead of just 18 when people ask how old I am. Because I say 18... and people think I just graduated and I'm just a little baby. ... which I kind of am. But I WANNA be all growed up! And I'm sort of getting there.. :)

AND THEN! I'm going to visit Shawna in Oklahoma!!! Uhm hi, I'm excited. I'm thinking of driving over there all by my lonesome. 14 hours in a car by myself sounds like heaven. I love driving. And blasting music and belting out songs and rolling all the windows down and feeling everything in the world with no one else around and being perfectly ME and no one else with no other influences or awkward moments because it's me. ...but Mom doesn't like the idea. So I might be flying... if I can find a cheap ticket.

You know what I want to do? I want to write something beautiful that really SAYS something. Maybe when I know more about life I can do that.

I'm going to the gym tomorrow with my darling, Addi. Because she's really good and healthy like that and invited me.

And I found out ANOTHER boy reads my blog regularly. Seriously. These boys. AND he had a lover interest in me in high school. Weird. My life is cool. Because boys that like me don't tell me. But he's not Mormon. Flirt to convert though, yo. And then we can be wed and make hot babies and they'll get the skinny gene from him and talented gene from me and they'll be super smart writers from both of us! Awesome. And since he reads this he'll be super weirded out by me and stop talking to me and then none of this will be possible at all. Tragic. But I just HAVE to give a shout out to my boys who read. Because it's funny.

If you are a boy and want a shout out. Leave a comment. And I'll shout out to you... in my blog. HAHA. I'm cracking myself up. I need to go to bed. I'm not even being funny, either. Okay. Stop talking, Annie. Time for bed. You're silly.

EXCEPT FOR WORDS OF WISDOM! Hmm. I feel like I've already used up all my wisdom. This blog has sucked me dry. OH something I'm realizing. Everything is not about me. I know that sounds dumb, like I should already know that. And I do. And I did. But remember that post where I talked about being the leading lady in your own life?? Well, that still holds true... but maybe pay more attention to the supporting actors too. They're just as important. Nobody wants to watch a movie with just one person in it.. remember Castaway? The end. :)

Have you ever wanted to just TALK to someone so badly... but anytime you tried to talk to anyone... you couldn't find the words to say what you wanted to? And then when you try to think of what you wanted to say.. you couldn't even remember? Or perhaps you never knew what it was that was so urgent to talk about. What was so pressing on your mind. And you think maybe it was just restlessness. But then you think... maybe it's just an overwhelming need to be understood. I just want to be understood.

This one time...

.... I was really emo. (Okay, more than just one time...) and then I started reading "The Screwtape Letters" by C.S. Lewis. Can I say awesome? Yes. I will. Awesome. Seriously. C.S. Lewis is a genius. The book is a compilation of letters from a devil to his nephew giving him tips on how best to trip up and tempt and discourage and ensnare someone he is trying to make fall. It's a real eye opener. And though I don't agree with EVERYTHING Lewis portrays... it is very interesting. And it's making me think.. which is always a good thing. It's always amazing to me how something written by someone I've never met can have such a big impact on my life and way of thinking. Literature is awesome.

I've recently rediscovered stumbleupon and I love it! I love having it stumble for JUST psychology related things. I love psychology. I love experiments that test human nature and how we think and feel and react to things. It's awesome.

Also it's my birthday on the 31st. And I requested a camera. I'm kind of excited about it, actually. :) Because then I will be able to take pictures and SHOW you my life instead of just writing boring words about it. :)

HOLY HANNAH! My N key just popped off my keyboard. Eff my life. Now my laptop looks all ghetto.

Meh. I don't feel like doing a words of wisdom for the day... sorry. Good night!

Another "I Like" Post. Because it's awesome.

I like midnight movies. I like movies that keep me guessing and that make me think about life. I like driving. I like road trips. I like being up late by myself. I like snow falling. I like hot chocolate. I like the rain and sitting inside reading Jane Eyre listening to thunder (not that I've had a chance to do that yet this year because it HASN'T RAINED YET! Stupid sky.) I like the idea of being in love. I like writing. I like making music. I like trying to make up harmonies to songs on the radio and actually sounding GOOD. I like helping people understand things. I like reading about the human mind.. and human nature... and the good and bad in people. I like making good choices. I like feeling happy and accomplished. I like seeing my little cousins grow up and develop personalities. I like seeing my best friend in love and as happy as I've ever seen her. I like that my hair is getting longer. I like that my contacts are only supposed to last 3 or 4 months.. but I've been wearing the same ones for 9... HA! I like my Shawna. And I want to visit her because I miss her like crazy... and I want her by me telling me everything's going to be fantastic in my life and I won't always be lonely and disappointed.... Don't get me wrong, I love life. I love feeling and being and experiencing. But I'm still lonely... and I'm still disappointed. My life is fantastic. It's just funny... and rather ironic... that what I've always wanted... my best friend has. She has someone to LOVE her. I really don't know if anyone has ever been in love with me. She always said I had plenty of boys... and I did. I always had a boy to be with, to get to know. But I never had boys love me. Not like boys love her. She never really had boys. Just a couple. But those couple fell in love with her.. and I mean REALLY in love with her. ... am I just not a lovable person? I don't understand. Something that I want so badly just can't seem to happen for me. Something I've been YEARNING for ever since I can remember... is something she didn't even want. Something she didn't want to happen, in fact. And yet, she has it now. And I know this is sounding like I'm insanely jealous of her... but I'm not. I get giddy just thinking about how GIDDY she is. She is so happy and I LOVE that. I'm not jealous of what she has.. I'm jealous of what I don't.

I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. Whenever I meet someone new I give it my all. I let it all loose and try to show them my everything. I just want them to know ME. All of me. All of my weird, stupid, selfish, so so caring, nerdy, loving, strong, independent, dependent, lost, hopeful, musical, fearful, spiritual, exciting, obnoxious ME. And no one's ever been in love with all of me before. In fact, I've had a boy tell me he really liked the IDEA of me... but then got to know me better.. and didn't like me anymore. OUCH. How am I supposed to take that standing up and confident?

You tell me.

I need to go to sleep. It's too late to be thinking about these things.

The end.

I'm really really really really really really curious...

...to know who reads my blog. SO ... if you read it... Or if you sometimes glance over it because my posts are freakishly long and don't have pictures because I don't have a camera and when I try and draw it looks like a handicapped 1st grader drew it and you don't want to read the WHOLE thing... or if you're just reading it for the first time ever ever and you just clicked on my link from facebook... PLEASE leave a comment telling me you were here. You don't have to have a blogger account to do it. Just leave a comment saying, "Hey.. I was here. I read it, yo! I got yo back, Annie.. you're not talking to the 3 people that originally read your blog from the beginning. Also you're funny and awesome and pretty and cool." (Okay, that last part was probably just me getting a little carried away... but you get the picture.) Because I have this statcounter thingy on my blog.. that tells me how many pageloads I get in a day. And when I post it's usually about 40 hits a day.. which isn't very many still... but it could just be the same 3 people rereading my posts because I'm THAT funny. (I wish.)

But anyway. Just thought I'd ask.. because I want to know. "A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That's why they don't get what they want." -Madonna! Words to live by, my lovelies.

However, I must get to bed.. because I am getting my teeth cleaned at 7:40 tomorrow morning!! I'm so excited!.... not for waking up early.. but for getting my teeth cleaned! It's always a jolly occasion. It makes my teeth happy. And when my teeth are happy.. I'm happy. :)

Good night, dearies.

P.S. OH YEAH!! I was going to tell you a story but I couldn't remember what I was going to say before I published this.. but now I do! My Junior year in high school I had the craziest History teacher ever. She never really taught... she stole power point presentations from other teachers and would just read off of those to the class. And most of the time she would mispronounce or just flat out tell us lies from history. When we were learning about the big move West she called Joseph Smith, John Smith. I was all, "Whaaaa?" It was silly. ANYWAY. One time she gave us an assignment to make a timeline of the revolution. We had to draw at least 5 pictures along the timeline... well, I KNOW that I'm a terrible artist. I just know. However, my little sister, Kelene, freaking DOMINATES the arts. For serious. So I went home and asked her to draw the pictures for me.. she was totally willing to, because she's super nice and pretty like that.. but Mom wouldn't let her! She said it was MY homework.. so I should do it. Ridic. So I sat down and worked on that stupid assignment for TWO HOURS! Two hours to draw 5 little itty bitty pictures on a timeline. It looked awful, and I knew it.. but I had given it my all! I turned it in when it was due and a couple days later the teacher got up in front of the class and told us overall we hadn't done very well on the assignment. She then proceeded to say that she WAS pleased with SOME of the students' work. For example: "This one" (insert very pretty, well planned out timeline done by someone with a decent amount of artistic skill. Definitely a girl.) "However," she said, "Some of you did not put in any effort at ALL. I was very disappointed. Some of the drawings looked like a SECOND GRADER could have done better. Like this one." (insert MY timeline. At least she didn't say who drew it, right?) Yeah, needless to say.. she wasn't my favorite teacher after that. Also, Kelene was allowed to draw for me from then on. The end.

(Wasn't that RUDE though??? Seriously. Rude. I worked so hard! Poo on her!)