I'm back.

Alright. I am FINALLY ready to blog again. I've been wanting to for about a week now, but you can't just BLOG when you don't feel like it.. and I've only been feeling like it at night and that is conveniently when the internet has decided to stop working at my house. However, lucky for all of my ultra devoted readers (HA!) I am in the mood right this very second. See, I like to be in a good mood when I blog.. otherwise I just sound whiney and I kind of annoy myself. And who wants to read a blog about stupid young adult angst anyway? But that's been what my main feeling has been lately. You see, I went to conference, which was FABULOUS. I got to see Curtis and Jesse and my awesomely amazing roommate from BYU-I, Corinne. And I got to spend time with my family... and I got to hear prophets and apostles speak to the church from the very same room... and I got to meet internet boyfriend (who is absolute history, by the way.. for reasons that will remain unknown on this blog) and I really just had nothing to complain about. That's the thing, I really have had nothing to complain about lately... and yet I've found things. And it's the same old thing... I want friends, more social time. Hahaha man I'm not doing a very good job with this post. My mind has just been so jumbled up lately.. BUT you will be glad to hear that with some help I am finally sorting everything out.

The three main factors that are getting me out of this weird funk I'm in are first and foremost, myself. I realized that I was not helping myself out any by not reading my scriptures and saying my prayers faithfully. I was starting to skip some of my meetings at church because I didn't feel particularly welcome or wanted there. I wasn't really doing a whole lot with my days just because, to be honest, I was a little depressed with my circumstances. SO, I realized this. And I am slowly but surely pulling out of this. In the past two weeks I've only missed my scripture study a few days and I have not missed out on prayer with my Heavenly Father. I feel like I still have a long way to go, but I am doing so much better already!!

The second factor to help was my bishop. I met with him on Sunday for the first time since I moved into the ward in January. My temple recommend had expired and since I was trying to be more faithful I decided I really needed to get to the temple. I went to visit him and we talked a lot about what it meant to be worthy to have a temple recommend and as we talked about certain things I felt little stings of guilt about some of it. Not anything that kept me from getting the recommend, thankfully! But it really helped open my eyes to some of the changes I need to be making. Then we talked about how I've been feeling so out of place with everything. Like I really just don't fit anywhere in the ward, and that's been REALLY... really hard. I've always had a place where I belonged... I've gone to 5 different schools in the past 5 years and no where else have I felt so alone. Which is sad. So we talked about ways I could get past that and hopefully feel more included and needed. Also I bawled my eyes out, which probably helped. I HATE crying.. but it really is good to do every once in a while. Ugh.

And the third factor is Mr. Daniel Stephen Ray. I'm a fan of him. Let me sum up our relationship for you. So we met in singles ward officially after we'd met a couple times before... but just didn't realize it. Then we served food together at Lehi Days. Then we went on our mall date (yes, I'm talking about mall guy who ran into the metal door and started BLEEDING, oh life you make me laugh). Then we decided to be friends and we talked of all sorts of funsie things and DID all sorts of funsie things. Then we DTR'd because I was like, "Hmm this is fun!" and then we were just friends which was chill. And then we were cuddle buddies while we watched the first season of LOST. (Hot dog I love that show!! And holy hannah Mr. Dan is a good cuddler. "If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.) And then I was like, "I like this boy. He's cute and dorky and makes me laugh muy mucho." So I said to him, "Dan, why don't we date?" and he said to me, "Uhh... this you are really more of a friend.." (awkward) So then I was all, "Whaaaa? I get what I want! (I didn't actually say this to him.. bahaha)" and then I threw a fit on the inside. And then I got over it and we are jolly good friends once again! And when I am feeling sad and lonely Mr. Dan always tries his very hardest to help me feel all warm and fuzzy and loved again. And I can be super duper annoying and kind of high maintenance.. HA! But he still likes me anyway, or at least pretends to... which means a lot to me. Plus I saw his pastey hairy foot... which bonds us. BAHAHAHA. But don't tell anyone. He's sensitive about it. :)

Well, I have to be at work in about 15 minutes so I really need to wrap this up. But now you know what is going on in my life again. It's not my usual happy go lucky post I guess, but it's the truth. And life really is great and the gospel is true and when I do what I'm supposed to I am happy. I shall make that my words of wisdom for the day. In the past two weeks if I have learned ANYTHING it's that we are supposed to be happy. "Men are that they might have joy." ... and if you're not joyful, you're doing something wrong! The end. :)