My "List"

So I mentioned the list that Turtle Wax keeps of all the (over a hundred) girls that he has kissed. He also recorded what he DID, the minimum being a kiss, with them. CREEEEPPYYYYY!

So naturally I decided to make my own list. Because I couldn't remember. I will NOT go into detail. But I'll share a memory from each. Because it's awkward and weird and welcome to my life. No names will be used. Although you will recognize some of them.... if you have been stalking my blog for any amount of time.

1. THE LITTLE ONE. Seriously. This dude was very little. Short and skinny as heck. He was my first kiss... and I really don't like to count it... but everyone says I have to. The Setting: We were on a school bus... on the way back from an orchestra festival.. at night... and all the cool kids were in the back of the bus and were playing truth or dare... and someone dared him to kiss me. So he did. He also kissed the next girl someone dared him to kiss. BASICALLY the lamest/best first kiss ever. Depends on how you look at it. I was 13. (Okay, mostly lamest. Whatev, man.)

2. THE DOG. Weird nickname? Yes. Appropriate? Yes. Not because of his personality.. but more because I imagine kissing him was a lot like kissing a canine creature: toothy and slobbery. The Dog was the first person I ever made out with... and he was only my second kiss. I was NOT expecting it at all. And it was GROSS. It felt like he was gnawing on my face and had overactive salivary glands. ALMOST turned me off to kissing altogether. AND we got caught by my best friends mom. That was awkward. But such a relief!

3. BOYFRIEND. Yeah, this was my first real boyfriend. And he was fanfreakingtastic. I really really liked kissing him. A lot. Most memorable thing? I got my first and LAST hickey form this one. It was the size of TEXAS and hurt like the devil. Good times. :) HA!

4. THE AWKWARD TRIANGLE. Named because I decided to try friends with benefits. Bad idea. I started liking him... only to find out he was in love with my best friend. That was awesome. But he was a pretty decent kisser. Especially since I was his first for realsies kiss. Props, man.

5. INTERNET BOYFRIEND. We weren't actually dating... haha but we did chat on facebook a lot. And when I went up to Salt Lake for conference.... we made out. Hard core. It was hot. And I fogged up the windows in a car for the first time... but mostly only because it was snowing outside... haha which ALSO means I got my first kiss in the snow. :) It was lovely. And pretty dang good kissing.

6. MR. STALKER BANK MAN. Nothing good ever came from this boy. And he wasn't even that great of a kisser. Bleh. REGRET.

7. BLACK MAN LIPS. Most definitely the worst kisser. Well actually The Dog rivals him... but seriously. Bad. I really liked this one. We were really good friends before his mission... and even liked each other before he left. So when he got home.. we started dating. And we kissed for the first time... and it wasn't that great. But.. maybe he was just rusty from the mish, ya know? So I decided to give him another chance. BAD IDEA. It sorta felt like he was trying to eat my face and suffocate me with his tongue. And those big black man lips were RAPING mine. I just couldn't compete.. I was contributing nothing. And it was bad. P.S. He was white.. he just had black man lips. hahaha

8. HAIRY BEN. Best kisser I've had. Yup. Some came pretty DARN close... but I think he's still the best. haha and now we're best friends! :) I love my life. Seriously though. Our awkward upside down Spiderman first kiss is the BEST story that I have to offer. Seriously. You're jealous of our first kiss. It was HILARIOUS.

9. THE CREEPER. Great kisser. likeWOAH. I was surprised, honestly. Not because I expected him to not be good or anything... I just didn't expect to like it THAT much. haha too bad I can't date him because of my stupid freaking outness. Oh well, such is life.

Now I can move onto my next victim!!! BAHAHAHAHAHA! .... I have no idea who it is in the least... but it'll be fun. :)