For Kendra:

Wow. My life is like a movie. My whole day was like a movie... BUT since Kendra is waiting for this RIDIC story... I will just post the MOST like a movie moment from my day.

It needs some background though.

There is a man that I know. We'll call him Turtle Wax. He is fairly nice. I met him at a church thing. He is very awkward. But super duper funny. When you're not next to him directly.

OKAY. So he has been bugging me quite a bit to hang out with him. And he seems pretty nice so I say to myself, "Okay. I can do that." But I've been so ridiculously busy lately that I just haven't made time for it. BUT tonight, I just wasn't in the mood for homework and Jon is busy being all dedicated to his studies and was unavailable to hear all my stories so I decided it would be a good night to do this hang out.

So I go over to his house. And he plays some drums for me. He's all good and musical and piano playing as well. Very nice. His house is nice. Then we pop in a movie on VHS (that's right, VHS. Kickin it old school, baby) and the only furniture in that room with the VCR is a lovesac. So we sit down... and it's really hard not to touch someone on a lovesac. And I didn't want to be rude and make it OBVIOUS I didn't want to touch him... so I just let it be. Went with the flow. Our arms were touching, not a big deal.

The movie keeps going and he starts rubbing my foot with his. Okay. I'M TOTALLY GROSSED OUT. Anyone who knows me at ALL knows feet ESPECIALLY NASTY SOCK COVERED MAN FEET gross me out to no end. Pukeface.

And he kept saying awkward things like "Trying to play footsies with me?" and tickling me whenever I'd yawn to "Help me stay awake"

Then at the part in the movie where the girl and the guy get together he was like, "Awwwwhhh this is so cute! Just so touching, give me a hug!"

Uhm. It's awkward to hug someone when they're laying next to you. Awkward. But I kinda scooted closer to him and he awkwardly hugged my head. And it was awkward. And he said so. And then we did a for real hug.. which was MORE awkward.. for me at least. And then when I went to lay back he kept his hand behind me... and it was awkward. So I decided to make it MORE awkward by laying on his forearm.... until he got the hint to move his freaking arm away! I WAS NOT CUDDLING WITH HIM!

And then the movie ended. And I said I had to go home to sleep (PAH!) so I gathered up my stuff and he walked me to the car. And he just looked at me. And I didn't know how to leave... and it was awkward.

SO I decided to make it awkward. So I put on an awkward face. You know how if things are FORCED awkward it's actually less awkward than when it's just NATURAL awkward? Yeah, that's what I was going for.

So he notes the awkwardness. "You look awkward. Why are you giving me that awkward look?" He says this like we have an inside joke going or something. What the crap? "I dunno... I have an awkward face? Rude."
"No, no, you just look awkward... like uncomfortable." (Here he leans against my car.. kinda blocking my door) "Look your fidgeting. You're fidgeting with your phone."
"Yeah, I'm just kind of an awkward person, I guess."
......
he just kept staring at me.
"Okay well I'm gonna go home now."
"Okay, good night."
He still didn't move. .... maybe he wants a hug?
So I lean in and give him a hug. ... it does not feel like a friendly- I'm leaving hug. It feels like a "he's holding me too tight and close for comfort and won't let go" hug. So I pull away and he's still got me by the waist. WHAAAAAAA IS GOING ON? I feel awkward.
"Okay well, goodnight!"
....
"Do you want to kiss me?"

WHAT THE CRAP?????
... "Uh, no."
"Are you sure? Because it kinda seems like you want to kiss me. Your eyes say you want to kiss me."
"Yeah, I'm sure."
HE LEANS IN TO TRY AND KISS ME
"NO really."
.. "Oh, okay."

"Uh, goodnight."
HE'S STILL STANDING IN FRONT OF MY DOOR. But then he moves. And I get in. And he's still just looking at me with the door in his hand.

"Bye"

And he finally shuts my door.

Holy crap.

How was your night? :)